Rainy Monday afternoon

"Why do they stay/go back?" is the question that most people (family, friends, strangers) ask me after I tell them I work in a Domestic Violence shelter. I think that this is the best answer. It's important to not lay the blame on the victim, which is easy to do. The abuser has committed a crime. Less people understand that then you'd think.

And a lot don't understand that the definition of rape is a lack of consent. It doesn't matter if you're married. It doesn't matter how you were dressed. Investigators should not be asking my client-a teenage rape victim- why she shaves her pubic hair if she wasn't planning on having sex with her assailant. Shit like that needs to change.

Lately I've been thinking that instead of working as a counselor of DV/SA victims after I get my MSW, I'd like to do some work with prevention. You know, educating the community about DV/SA and what constitutes a crime. We live in a culture in which the line is blurred sometimes. Example. And there are positions like this in each of the three DV shelters I've volunteered, interned and worked at who all have their MSWs. I think I would be good at it.

Hobbies that I've picked up over the last month:
  • Baking (usually something with meringue)
  • Reading
  • Writing in the journal Puhtay gave me for my birthday
  • Geocaching
  • Running. That's right, I typed running. Which is weird because I usually don't enjoy exercise. (Have I mentioned that I've lost 10 lbs since I graduated?)
Dreams I've had in the last week:
  • I went on a SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner=collecting bodily forensic evidence after a sexual assault) call. I met the victim at a coffeehouse. It turned out to be my old neighbor who died this year. He gave me a huge hug. We ordered lattes and caught up.
  • A mistake I made in real life lead to one of my client's murder by her assailant. I found out by reading it on the front page of the paper.
  • My boss was testing me on aspects of my job. She was quizzing me with questions on flash cards. I did really well though.
  • For some reason I had to watch movies on my night shift to screen for "appropriate content". I had to take notes. Which I thought was awesome until I accidently I fell asleep on the couch and slept through my shift.
  • Somebody was geocaching in the shelter's parking lot in the middle of the night. I called the police and the poor people were arrested.
I've been making an effort to not worry about work when I'm off shift. I try to leave work stuff at work and not take it home with me. Apparently my mind has decided I need to process it sometime and takes the task upon itself when I'm sleeping. But really, my mind is probably just reflecting what I'm thinking during the day. I don't know. I kind of which they would stop.

Things I'm excited for:
  • This summer.
    • THE LAKE!
    • Caitlin being home
    • Adventures with GV friends
    • High school friends coming home
    • Helping Brandy and Matt fix up their new house
  • This fall
    • Living in and exploring downtown GR
    • Living by most of my friends again and having a regular social life
    • Living in an historical, charming appartment which my future roommate and I are bound to find somewhere in the Heritage Hill area
    • Not working midnight shifts anymore. Although, I'm going to ask the shelter in GR if they want an on-call or float shelter worker.
    • Being a student again. (I would be a student for the rest of my life if I could)

2 comments:

Carrie said...

i love that you can make the transition between a discussion on domestic violence/sexual assault to baking with meringue look natural.

i adore you.

Caitlin said...

Are you coming back to GVSU in the fall? What is happening with your life? WHY DO I KNOW NOTHING?

Miss you muchly.