Books and adventures.

Books I've read in the last 2 months:

• Me Talk Pretty One Day-David Sedaris. My favorite Sedaris book so far because it made me laugh out loud the most.
• A Cook's Tour-Anthony Bourdian. Made my stomach growl constantly. I've decided that it's necessary for me to try clams.
• You Must Be This Happy to Enter-Elizabeth Crane. Wierd and hilarous.
• I Was Told There Would Be Cake-Sloane Crosley. I feel like she and I could be friends. She's funny, but not as much as Sedaris and Crane.
• This I Believe. Essays from the NPR radio show of the same name.
• The Enemy Between My Legs-Stephanie L. Jones. She's speaking at an event in a few weeks (Take Back the Night rally) that the shelter has organized. Her book is about child sexual abuse and is okay...until she makes the argument that child sexual abuse causes homosexuality. It pissed me off and makes me concerned about her upcoming speech and how AWARE will be represented.
• Live Through This: Essays in Creativity and Self-Destruction-edited by Sabrina Chapadjiev. A collection of pieces from poets, writers, artists, photographers, playwrights, dancers, activists etc. about their creative and self-destructive tendencies (i.e. cutting, eating disorders). Really good.

I have two books that I requested from the library and am still waiting on and today I bought two other books (that I couldn't find in the library's catalog). I LOVE reading for fun again!

My dream trips/Adventures I want to have:

• Visit Sindre and the gang in Norway
• Visit Chelsea in Japan
• Visit Carrie in Uganda. Volunteer there for a few weeks.
• Visit Ryan in France
• Manchu Picchu
• Backpack Europe
• Thailand (honeymoon?)
• Back to Hungry Mother Park in VA with some of the AB Trails gang. (This might happen this summer!)
• White-water raft again (maybe this can happen in VA!)
• Take Dad somewhere for his retirement (Ireland?)
• NYC with Mom and Caitlin
• Australia's the only continent other than Antarctica that I don't have on this list...so I'm going to have to add it.

Many the Miles- Sara Bareilles

There's too many things I haven't done yet

There's too many sunsets I haven't seen

La Chureca and gender

Dead on.

Directions from GV

All I do these days is work at night and sleep during the day, so when Rachel and Markus offered to pick me up on Friday, spend the night in Rachel's hometown and spend Saturday at Splash Village in Frankenmuth, I asked a co-worker to switch me hours right away. I'm excited- I really need a bit of fun. These are the directions that I gave them:

134 mi – about 2 hours 25 mins

Fun fact: You're going to cross Grand River a ton of times. It follows me almost all the way home. Road trip game: Count the number of times you cross it.

1. Head northeast on Campus Dr 0.1 mi
2. Turn right at S Campus Dr 0.8 mi
3. Turn right at Lake Michigan Dr/M-45 9.4 mi
4. Merge onto I-196 E via the ramp to Lansing 5.9 mi
5. Merge onto I-96 E 68.7 mi. I highly recommend stopping in Portland, exit 77 Grand River Ave. for any bathroom needs. Very clean bathrooms. This is the longest leg of the trip. Road trip game: Should Megan cut her hair chin length again, or grow it out? Discuss.
6. Take exit 106A to merge onto US-127 S toward Jackson 29.4 mi. A little more than an hour left!
7. Take the exit onto I-94 E toward Detroit 3.6 mi. You'll go under a bridge and the exit is just yards past it. I think this ramp is annoying. It feels too short.
8. Take exit 142 to merge onto US-127 S toward Hudson 11.3 mi Art Moehn Chevorlet is on the left a little before this exit. That's where my dad worked for about 6 months my freshman year. ...Isn't this tour fun?
9. Turn left at Jefferson Rd 2.6 mi. It's a stoplight. Gas station on the corner. Jefferson road is where I hit a deer last year on Thanksgiving weekend. Please don't hit a deer. It isn't fun.
10. Turn right at Hayes Rd 1.8 mi. St. Rita's church will be on the corner. That's where my sister and I went to catechism class. You'll pass through Clark Lake golf course where my sister had golf practice in high school. She was MVP of the varsity team her freshman year. She and
Dad really enjoy the sport. Mom and I don't have the patience for it and get bored. Isn't this entertaining to learn? There will be a quiz.
11. Turn left at Somerset Dr 0.6 mi. A yellow house with green shutters will be on on the corner. I know that it sounds pretty, but it definitely isn't.
12. Turn left at Archwood Ln 472 ft. It's a dirt road. If you don't find it right away keep going. People always call me thinking they must have already gone the 0.6 miles but they have not. The street sign is usually blocked by a pine tree.
13. Turn left at Archwood Circle. The road is a literal circle and we're directly on the other side so if you want to turn right that's ok too. I enjoy switching it up.

140 Archwood Cir Brooklyn, MI 49230
Left of a shared driveway, tall gray house.

Elaboration

My sister was really surprised that I put that "11. The thought of being tied down to a husband and family doesn't sound appealing to me at all" on my last post and ever since then it feels like that's all I've been thinking about. I didn't write that I don't want a husband someday. Because I do. And I didn't write that I don't want kids. Because I do. It's just...I've got so much shit to do and places to see first. In the past month I have learned of so many of my friends' pregnancies and engagements and each time all I keep thinking is that I don't see myself wanting to settle down in any reasonable amount of time.

I finished reading "You Must Be This Happy to Enter" by Elizabeth Crane, which is full of fictional, bizarre and hilarious short stories. For example, one is about Betty the zombie, who goes on a Lifetime reality show to live with other women with "issues" (such as overeating, overspending etc.) so they can tackle their problems together. (I was laughing out loud when Betty shares her sexual experiences and how she feels hurt that her husband doesn't want her as often since she became a zombie. She suspects it this might be caused by a culmination of "little" things like her rotting flesh and sudden desire to eat humans.)

Anyway, I was really surprised by the last story of the book called "Promise", in which the narrator lists all the things she promises to do as a parent for her adoptive child. The review on Amazon says that the narrator lists how she is going to be a perfect parent, but I think this is incredibly inaccurate as the narrator lists both positive and negative results of her parenting. I'm convinced that it isn't fictional at all.

"If you are a girl and you kiss a boy in first grade, I will refer you to your father. If you kiss a boy your senior year of high school and it sucks, I will tell you it gets better later. If you are a boy and you kiss a girl ever, I will first tell you how not to become a jerk down the line and it might be obvious that I've had some issues and then I will refer you to your father. If you are a boy and you want to kiss boys or if you are a girl and you kiss a girl in tenth grade and it rocks your world, I will say Right on, even though you will tell me that people have stopped using that phrase. I will tell you about the birds and the bees with plenty of advanced notice, but I will not involve any birds and bees in this story.

...I will try to stay out of your love life, but I will urge you to practice the safe sex I do not want to hear details about, ever. And if your girlfriend calls you names or your boyfriend hits you, I will kick their fucking asses down the stairs and out the door."

That piece and the fact that I've been folding and organizing donated baby's clothes whenever I get a chance to escape to the attic at the shelter have made it easy for me to brainstorm and daydream about how I would treat my own children.

My kids will be so super-styley. I'll probably dress my children in little sweaters and congratulate myself on my amazing sense of taste even though it's almost impossible to dress toddlers badly since they will look cute no matter what. I will take my kids and their older cousins to the library at least once a month. All of them will probably have brown hair and eyes because that's what all Bomholt kids look like no matter what the in-law's appearance. Yelling indoors will not be tolerated but they will be encouraged to laugh loudly and often. I will answer every question they ask and tell them they should never be embarrassed to ask questions because it's the best way to learn. When they're 11 and they want to know what "blow-job" means they will hopefully feel comfortable enough to ask me about it like I did with my mom. We will spend whole afternoons together carving pumpkins or coloring or dying eggs or making valentines. We will bake and drive around to deliver the goodies to our friends and the local domestic violence shelter. My kids will travel. They will volunteer. They will understand that we're damn lucky to have a roof over our heads and food in our pantry. They will understand concepts like "social equality" from an earlier age than most. Their mom won't do all the stereotypical "women's chores" and their dad won't do all of the stereotypical "man's chores".

Man, I would be a kick-ass mom.